Would you cope with a computer-free life?

Have you ever asked yourself what is a computer in your room? Is it a friend or is it a foe? Is it a help or is it an abuse? Is it safe storing your information on the computer’s hard drive or maybe you should by a safe and use a typing machine?

Don’t bother answering these questions yet, it’s too soon. Think about another fact: an average user spends 14 hours a week (i.e. an average of 2 hours per day) sitting in front of his monitor and surfing the web or doing something else, in many cases absolutely useless. But think of those guys whose job is to sit at a computer and stare the whole day long into the shining image. In addition, when sitting at a computer you are subjected to a number of hazardous things, such as radiation, for example; or the picture on the monitor can cause serious problems to your eyes (if it’s a CRT one – the LCDs are not so harmful). And that are maybe the most harmless things: a computer will surely leave some trace in your mind, changing you forever.

So I figured why not say “The hell with that!” and spend some more time living for myself with the closest people, without this blind addiction to Internet, hardware, software, chatting and the like. Because you know, there are people who have already done it… thought only because they changed their jobs or their computer broke down. Another interesting fact is that it could be hardly called an addiction, because these people, according to the University of Southern California, didn’t feel they needed to come back to it.

By the way! Did you know that banning the Internet sessions is second most popular punishment for American children by their parents? Second after banning the TV, of course! The TV is still the dominator for the kids, though violently losing positions.

So let’s spend some time and think together, what would we have time for or what we could do, if it wasn’t for this gadget – the evil computer (just like women, “can’t kill ‘em an’ can’t live without ‘em!”). For some this might be boring, for others – entertaining, so please, read these and help me out by giving your ideas of what should be done.

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First thing what comes up my mind is going at a picnic. I don’t know why, but I guess I lack those childhood days, when I used to spend the whole day outside without having to sit at a stupid monitor, because your damn boss pays you money for it! Sorry… I had to say that…

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The first thing has been officially cancelled: from now on the first thing is “go and make love to you wife/girlfriend”… Those people (women, or whoever is in your bedroom…) can’t wait when you actually get off that chair and go to bedroom to sleep. However, it wouldn’t be a wonder if you go to sleep with the Photoshop or Dreamweaver interface or some guerrillas from Counter-Strike in you head. If you thought you had given your wife enough attention, I would say that can’t be true. If you actually are reading this, I think that your average is some 6 to 8 hours computer work per day and your subconscious ego says “Maybe I should stop for a while?”

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You probably already heard about paying taxes online in some countries. If in your country something like this has already happened, all I can say… well, forget about it… Go to the department by foot and pay your taxes OFFline – despite the time you might spend on it (or some might say ‘waste’), it would be much healthier. You won’t have to stare into the monitor and try to understand all that registration forms and things. You would see some live people on the streets, meet your new neighbors or admire a new building next to another building you haven’t seen for a long time. If something happens at the department, you can always enjoy the little verbal fight with the clerk. This is always so much fun!

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The next suggestion is for those guys who have kids and especially those, who say they have too much work when asked to play with the kid for a while. If you’ve identified yourself in this category, I would say you’re a liar!!! If you have time to read this crap, I think you could spare this time to spend some time with your children.

You know, I think I’m also in this category (though I wrote this crap, so I don’t read it), because my boy stands right now beside me and pulls my sleeve: he wants to show me a picture he’s painted today, but I MUST finish my ideas and I really have too much to do!

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By the way, I knew a couple of guys, who didn’t shower for months just because they didn’t have time to’! As much as I am a computer addicted guy, I personally have always had time for a nice hot bath. I just can’t imagine anything so important a guy should do (besides saving the planet from extra-terrestrial invasion) that he wouldn’t have time to take a shower. And in case you’ve got rid of you computer addiction, try combining the bath with section two of these “Laws of the Addict”. It would be useful both for you and your partner.

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When was the last time you have eaten “real” food? If you don’t remember then computer is probably your main issue. Take a look at your table. If there is only enough space for the mouse pad, keyboard and the monitor, and the rest of the table is full of chips foliages and packages – you’re a mess!

I think the computer should be the 8th sin of humanity. You may want to start a healthy way of life: eat something useful for your stomach, not just fast junk food from the local pizzeria.

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Think about paying a visit to the bathroom. This is the case when your mind is asking for more computer entertainment and your bladder is about to explode. Forget about computer for this one minute!

You’ve surely had such situations, when you think you need only 2 more minutes… or maybe three… OK, just one more… I guess I could stand 5 more minutes… and then you here a female computer voice saying “Our base is under attack!” and you say “I have no time to think about the bloody bathroom; I’ll pee my pants, but I WILL NOT LOSE!” Well, maybe I exaggerate, but something like this might sometimes happen…
So the conclusion is: if I didn’t have a computer (or at least I wasn’t so addicted) I would save some nerves to my family doctor and a pack of detergent! Go to the bathroom! Now!

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If you feel that your computer addition is getting worse, buy a ticket to Zimbabwe or Cameroon (try to Google or Wikipedia those) and enjoy some days without computer, internet or any other form of life you got used to. Don’t forget to leave your laptop at home. Such excuses as, “I’ll need it for work” are useless.

If you are really not into going to Africa you can visit some of the most beautiful islands in Oceania, where you can run into nice cannibals and share a pleasant evening meal with them – just kidding; you can see a lot of beautiful things that, believe me, look much more attractive than they do on Wikipedia pages.